Do Not Let Your Attorney Fuel the Fire of Your Anger

One of my recent clients mentioned to me about the mistake she made hiring a family law lawyer for her divorce just because he made an impression on her of being fearless, very aggressive and confident in his success. It took many months and many thousands of dollars for the woman to realize that the lawyer is artfully "milking" her at an hourly rate of $375, by continuing to convince her not to accept a reasonable settlement and go to trial.

Eventually, due to a fall-out, she switched attorneys and was surprised as to how much more mellow the new attorney was. At first it was alarming to her, but as she continued to work with him, she realized how much more competent her new lawyer was. The settlement was reached shortly after to my client's satisfaction. She related to me that the response of her ex husband and the opposing attorney to her new lawyers was completely different and they got along much better right away because her new lawyer did not engage in pointless arguments or personal attacks against the other side like her prior attorney did. 

My client learned a very important lesson from her personal experience being represented by an attorney - having a bad relationship with the opposing side has no benefits to the case. At the end of the day, everyone is interested in some kind of resolution, which means a transfer of money from one set of hands to the other. That transfer is much more likely to happen if there is a good relationship between the parties, no matter how contentious the legal issues are, because any person is more likely to give and compromise with someone they respect rather than someone they can't stand, and as a result want to harm financially any way they can.